


Quarter After One

by catherinegrant



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7951618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catherinegrant/pseuds/catherinegrant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after Kara has left CatCo, Cat receives an unexpected invitation to Kara's wedding. Now Cat's sitting in her hotel room the night before the ceremony, wondering if she made the right decision all those years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quarter After One

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [captainjaybird](http://archiveofourown.org/users/captainjaybird), for being not only an excellent editor, but an even better friend.
    
    
    _and how you left the constellations
         shining in the freckles of my skin
               i will never know
    
         but here i am, up at night
               tracing them anyway
               homesick for the places
         that were never really my own._
    
                        - tyler kent white -

* * *

The invitation had been mixed in casually with her CatCo morning mail.

_Kara Danvers and Jeffrey Reynolds request the pleasure of your company at their wedding on Saturday October 23rd, 2021._

The address was somewhere in Keystone City. Cat had shuddered. Kansas. As if Metropolis hadn’t been bad enough.

Her hand had lingered for a moment before she’d checked ‘Accept’ and tucked the RSVP slip into the return envelope.

Two months later she’s still wondering if she made the right decision. She’s never been able to resist Kara, not since the night when Kara had kissed her on the balcony and all Cat’s defenses had come crumbling down at once. She should have rebuked her right then. But the feeling of Kara’s soft lips was addictive, and it wasn’t until one night many weeks later, when Kara had murmured in her ear that she loved her after coming undone in Cat’s arms, that Cat knew she had to put a stop to things.

Kara had reacted badly. But eventually she had stopped looking at Cat with those ridiculous puppy-dog eyes every time she walked into her office. And eventually Cat had stopped missing the feeling of Kara’s skin against her own, of Kara’s hair in her hands, of Kara’s lips between her thighs. It had all been for the best.

Cat hadn’t seen her in years, not since Kara had left CatCo to work for that pitiful excuse for a charity agency. Still, it’s hard to ever fully forget someone who is plastered on screens throughout your office on a daily basis.

But Cat wasn’t supposed to know that. Kara had never trusted her with that knowledge. Perhaps she couldn’t blame her.

Despite this, it had been months since Cat had thought about Kara outside of her Supergirl persona. But then that wretched invitation had showed up in the mail and she had allowed herself a brief moment of self-indulgence—one she still wished she could take back—and now she found herself sitting in the finest room in a five-star hotel the day before Kara’s wedding ceremony, getting drunk off hotel whiskey.

A sharp rap at the door interrupts Cat’s thoughts and she wonders if it might be Kara. But it’s just room service, delivering the second bottle of alcohol she’d forgotten she’d asked for. She snatches the bottle and shoos them away, pointedly flipping the Do Not Disturb sign before collapsing on her bed, the silk sheets soft against her skin.

Grabbing her phone with an unexpected impulsivity, Cat scrolls through her contacts and taps on Kara’s name. She is the only person besides Carter who has an actual contact photo. She had added it herself when she was still Cat’s assistant, claiming she didn’t want Cat to be greeted by a grey blob every time she texted her. Cat has never been able to bring herself to delete it.

**Are you awake?**

Cat recognizes after she hits Send that the text was a mistake. But it’s too late to take it back, and her heart races when Kara immediately replies.

**Yeah, are you okay? Do you need anything?**

It’s as if they had just seen each other minutes before, Kara having gone off to fetch her a lettuce wrap from Noonan’s.

 _I miss you_ , Cat wants to type, but holds back. She watches the dots continue to dance across the bottom of the screen for a while, as if Kara is typing something more. Finally Cat clicks off her phone and places it on the nightstand.

A second knock at the door has her fuming at the incompetence of the hotel staff. “I told you—” The words get caught in her throat as she catches sight of Kara standing in her doorway, draped in linen pajamas with a messy bun on top her head.

Kara’s eyes widen as she peers into the room. “Wow. This place is even bigger than our honeymoon suite. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You never did do things in half-measures.” Cat wants to protest, not keen on being mocked by her former assistant in her own hotel room. Until she remembers that she is the reason said former assistant is standing here right now, in those god awful pajamas with prairie dogs on them, looking like she hasn’t aged a day.

“Why are you here, Kara?”

“I’m not the one who texted me at one in the morning.” Kara’s tone is playful, but her expression is intense and probing.

“I shouldn’t have messaged you,” Cat says, her voice gruff and flat in comparison.

“But you did.”

Distant yelling echoes down the hallway, prompting Kara to ask, “Can I come in?”

Cat nods and steps back, trembling slightly when Kara’s shoulder grazes hers as she walks into the room.

“I’d been debating whether to invite you, you know,” Kara says at last.

“So why did you?” Cat looks at her doggedly, searching for answers beneath those steeled blue eyes.

Kara flinches and looks away. “Why did you come?”

It’s a deflection. Funny how years later they’re still dancing around each other.

“Because…” Cat isn’t sure whether to blame the alcohol, or the crushing weight of her own feelings, but the air around them suddenly feels very heavy. “Because I had to see for myself that you’re okay. That you’re happy.” _Without me_ , she leaves unsaid.

“I am,” Kara says, a small smile playing at her lips.

They’ve moved to the bed now, and Cat shifts several feet away to maintain an illusion of distance between them. As if that would be needed. Four years of radio silence has been distance enough.

“Are you?” Kara scooches closer to lay a hand on Cat’s knee. So much for distance.

“Happy, I mean,” she clarifies.

“It does get lonely sometimes,” Cat says. Kara is swinging her leg absentmindedly against the bedframe. The metal makes a muted thud each time her foot makes contact. “Carter’s just left for college. MIT.” Cat’s heart aches a little as she thinks of the day her son packed up his things and drove off to Cambridge. She’s proud, but the penthouse seems large and empty without him. She had always taken his presence for granted, but now the apartment feels less like a home and more like a place to sleep.

“College? But I thought he was only seventeen.”

“Early admittance. But what about you? Keystone City, that’s surprising. I wouldn’t have pegged you for a prairie girl. I don’t imagine there’s very much demand in the way of heroics in a nauseatingly wholesome place like this.”

Kara just shakes her head and sighs. “Jeff’s parents are from here but he works in National City.”

“I suppose he does something equally trite?”

Kara clenches her jaw. “He’s an environmental lawyer, actually.”

“I see,” Cat says before artfully changing the subject. “You mentioned you have the honeymoon suite. How long will you be staying in Keystone City then?”

“A couple weeks, give or take. Jeffrey wanted to spend part of our honeymoon closer to home.”

Honeymoon. There’s that word again. It stings at her skin like nettles, an incessant itch that becomes even harder to ignore with the way Kara is looking at her, so softly, expectantly, her palm warm against Cat’s thigh. The moment is oddly intimate, and Cat finds herself leaning forward, so close now that she can feel the staccato of Kara’s breath.

“Cat…” Kara lingers there, close enough that just another inch and she’d be brushing against her lips, before she draws back with a furrowed brow and crosses her arms over her stomach.

“Don’t you want this?” The alcohol has lowered her inhibitions, but Cat is embarrassed by how brazen she’s being. “Isn’t that why you came here?”

Kara folds her hands in her lap and smoothes at the corner of her pajama top. “I always wondered what might have happened, all those years ago when I told you I loved you. If you had kissed me and said ‘I love you’ back. If you hadn’t pulled away.” She purses her lips. “But then you did, and you told me you didn’t feel anything and you left me there and broke my heart into a million pieces.” Tears are brimming at her eyes now, and Kara wipes them away deftly with the back of her hand. “I would have moved mountains for you, and I think we both know I _could_.”

Cat’s breath catches at the weight of the unspoken secret between them, but Kara turns away and looks down at the carpet. “I’ve moved on, Cat. You should too. I want you to be happy.” Her mouth is turned up in a half smile, her eyes earnest and bright, and Cat feels nauseous.

Everything seems overwhelmingly loud and all Cat wants is to be alone. “It’s getting late,” she says.

Kara frowns but nods in implicit understanding. “Good night, Cat. I’ll see you tomorrow?” It shouldn’t have been a question, but Kara knows her all too well. 

Cat can’t bring herself answer so instead she simply says, “Good night, Kara.”

Kara flicks off the light, closing the door behind her with a click, and Cat prays Kara is no longer listening when she finally succumbs to quiet sobs several minutes later.

When Cat wakes the next morning she packs her bag and heads for the airport. Kara doesn’t mention her absence, doesn’t text to ask where she’d been, and it’s not long before Cat has fallen back into a familiar rhythm. With Carter gone at school she throws herself fully into her work, burying Kara Danvers into the deepest recesses of her mind.

It’s four years later when she gets another letter from her. This time the envelope is bright red and green, and Cat rolls her eyes at the garish color choice.

The portrait inside is printed on glossy paper and wreathed with holly. Kara sits on a stool, a child, no older than two, resting on her knee. There’s a small House of El crest on the top left corner of the child’s shirt, and a man Cat doesn’t recognize has his arm wrapped around Kara. She’s dressed in some hideous cardigan, smiling bright enough to light up an entire city. The card reads, “Merry Christmas from the Reynolds.”

Cat puts it back into the envelope and shoves it to the back of her desk drawer. “Jennifer!” she hollers, and her assistant Julia comes running. “Talk to maintenance. There is an insistent ticking noise coming from somewhere in this building and I want it taken care of immediately.”

“Yes, Ms. Grant,” the girl says, scurrying away.

Cat walks over to her liquor cabinet and grabs her favorite bottle of bourbon before settling back into her chair. The drink tickles as it goes down her throat, and she closes her eyes, trying to quiet the cacophony in her skull.

**Author's Note:**

> I really appreciate constructive criticism, as it lets me know what I can improve on. If you notice any typos or have something to critique about my writing, feel free to message me on [tumblr](http://krystalgoderitch.tumblr.com). Don't worry, I won't get offended ;)


End file.
